Green Means Go

In my recent visit to the OB-Gyn he told me that we can begin preparing my body for implantation of our 4 remaining embryos as soon as I get my period.

That soon?

While we have discussed the possibility of having more children, specifically going back for the 4 embryos we still have, I hadn't really thought about it happening so soon after Ines passing away. In fact, yesterday marked the 1st month of her birth. Tomorrow will be a month since she passed away.

I don't know what to feel.

I have to admit that I'm scared. Scared that what happened with Ines will happen again. Scared that something else might go wrong.

I also want to go back for the embryos that are still there. For me they are already babies so there was never any question of going back for them, especially after Ines was gone. I'm just not sure if I'm ready to go back for them now. But I worry that if we wait too long to go back for them, they might not survive the thawing process.

And I don't know if I should take a break. For Pilar. For my body. For my mind.

John of course just wants us to get it over and done with. So that we can move on --- pregnant or otherwise.

Argh.......my mind is about to explode with all these thoughts.